Then everything goes very fast and I don't really have time to think about what is going on. I have to tell my husband, who fortunately is not far away, answer the doctors' questions, fill in forms, go to my room and take an antiseptic shower... Deep down, I'm very disappointed because for several months you prepare for your birth, you write a birth plan, you attend preparation classes... in short, you dream about your birth, and even if the caesarean section is sometimes mentioned, I had left it aside in a corner of my head, too sure that it wouldn't be for me. I felt confident that my pregnancy was going well.

My husband's presence in the run-up to the operation is very important. Although he was worried about me and the baby, he took it upon himself to reassure me and help me to focus my emotions not on the birth I was not going to have, but on meeting my daughter who was about to arrive.

The departure to the operating theatre is difficult, my husband is not allowed to accompany me, so we will each experience the meeting with our daughter on our own. They come to get me in a wheelchair, which makes me feel sick. Between the gown, the cap on my head and the complete disinfection, I feel more like I'm going to be operated on than to give birth... However, on the way there, the whole medical team wishes me a good birth, and these few words, which may seem insignificant, make me feel very good.

In the operating theatre, a midwife explains to me everything that is going to happen and the role of each person. Once again, I answer questions while waiting for the doctors to arrive. I am very stressed, especially about staying conscious while they open my body. At the same time, I don't want to be asleep for my daughter's arrival!

The anaesthetist arrives, I sit down at the end of the operating table and he proceeds exactly as for an epidural. A midwife holds my shoulders and describes what is happening in my back to reassure me. It's a bit painful, but I'm mostly afraid of what's coming next. I know that in the next few minutes I'm going to lose half my body, which is a bit of a strange feeling...

Then I lie down and they lift up my gown to make a curtain. I can't see what's going on on the other side, my arms are crossed, on one side the IV and on the other the blood pressure monitor, the oximeter and my heartbeat. My hands are tingling from the stress. I try to do the breathing exercises I learned in the childbirth preparation classes.

During the operation, I don't lose the feeling of touch despite the anaesthetic, only the pain is absent. They start by putting in a urinary catheter which I will keep in until the next morning. I am quickly seized by a very strong smell of burning, but then my daughter arrives very quickly. I hear her first cry and I start crying streams of tears at the same time! They explain to me that she was wrapped up in the cord, which prevented her from getting off. They put her on my chest for a few minutes, but they have to take her to her father quickly as the temperature in the block is very low. The operation continues for me and I feel lonely, time seems long. This part is a blur, I feel like I'm leaving several times, I'm out of it...

I then stay two hours in the recovery room. My daughter is brought in for her first feed. It's a magical moment. It's cold here too, and they have to install an extra heater that blows under the covers.

Back in the room, I am shivering despite the heat as the effects of the anaesthetic wear off. My husband is worried and it's true that I must look frightening... The operation is still heavy and the aftermath is difficult... But we are finally a family, the three of us together.

I am not allowed to leave the bed. For several hours I cannot eat or drink because the intestines have also been put to sleep. After that, I will be given a semi-liquid diet until my digestion starts to work properly again, after about 48 hours.

The next morning, the tube is removed and I have to take a few steps regularly. It's extremely painful, it's difficult to stay upright. Every movement is an ordeal, whether standing or in bed. Fortunately, the whole medical team is there to support and accompany us. Once again, my husband's presence is essential. Fortunately he can stay with me day and night because he is a great support as I can hardly do anything! We will leave the clinic after three days to start our new life.